im just not that into u :(

Dear Maude and Mod,

I'm a big believer in treating others like you'd want to be treated. I recently went out with a few guys who just "disappeared" after a few dates - no call, no text, no nothin’. But now, after a few dates with a guy, I'm not interested and find myself ducking his calls. Do I have to come clean and have the "I'm just not that into you" talk, or can I just leave him with silence? And, does the fact that I think he's a dog just trying to get into my pants affect how I cut things off?

Sincerely,
To Text or Not to Text?

Dear Text Questioner,
Maude: Just in case there’s a heaven and a hell, you should go with that treat others well mantra to cover your bases (certainly we know that there is a purgatory and that is our current location). Yes, you do need to have some sort of a talk with him…I am trying to think modernly these days, so I will add that you may certainly let your fingers do the talking. If he is a dog go ahead and throw him a bone, er...a text. As long as this guy isn’t a friend and you’re not going to run into him, go with a white lie – you just started seeing someone, you’re moving, you’re back with your ex – think about what would cause the least amount of grief if someone used it on you.
Mod: These cringe-worthy conversations flash me right back to being asked out by an unfortunately pale, skinny, bespeckled boy named Darren backstage during our 7th grade production of Godspell. I pulled a quick, “I’d rather be your friend than your girlfriend” and ran onstage for 'Day by Day'. You should do the same (run), and, because you won’t have to see him in algebra for the next two years, you can get away with even more. You can tell a little lie, or, if you’re feeling particularly honest or worried about your karma, a simple, “I had a great time with you, but it’s really not there for me” should do the trick. If it’s not there, it’s not there. This guy sounds questionable anyway, so don’t lose sleep to the guiltmonster. Finally, though it’s easiest to do this in a text, I say go for the higher ground and write an email. Or (this should earn you bonus good energy points in your next relationship) suck it up and call him. And move on to greener pastures.
P.S. This post also reminded me of the time in college when Maude sent me a copy of “He’s Just Not that Into You” for no apparent reason. On Valentine’s Day.